I am a Psychologist, Not an Influencer

It's been a minute, huh? Well, I needed a break. Yep. I was burned the heck out. To make sure I didn't roll back into that same funk, I had to do a little reflecting. Some soul searching.

I was spending a lot of time recording, editing, scheduling, Facebooking, Gramming, and TikToking. I was constantly counting likes, shares, and comments. It was exciting! I feverishly shared my videos with everybody and their maw. Seeing those viewing numbers go up was thrilling! Then, it became an obligation. A burden. One day, it hit me. I am a psychologist, not an influencer. Apparently, I got that twisted for a little bit. Mental health is my profession, not my hobby or gig. My goal is to share information about wellness and growth, not become a household name. Wanna know what else? I also realized that everyone does not deserve access to me at all times. On all platforms. That malarkey is exhausting! I figured, if people truly want to engage (or just giggle), they'll follow my Facebook page, subscribe to my website and YouTube channels, or actively participate in my groups. Why in the world was I chasing folks like a hound chasing a rabbit?

I'm not seeking likes, shares, or comments. I'm not seeking approval or attention. I'm not being pretentious. I am perfecting my craft and protecting my peace. I am THE FOCAL POINT. Sometimes, we have to take a step back and reassess. I did, lesson learned, and I pray you do the same.

Dr. B

Be "Specific"

Hey honey! How has your week gone so far? Whether things have fallen into place or backfired, at least you tried! Big props for trying!

If you watched my latest video, I start by talking about cake. Yes, cake. If you know anything about me, you should know that I am a fan of all things sugar! I know I'm not the only one. Hey sugar sis! Hey!

Now what was I talking about? Oh, that's right. Cake. Well kinda sorta. Sis, I want you to BE SPECIFIC. If you want me to bake you a cake, you have to tell me what kind- chocolate, lemon, strawberry, caramel, red velvet... Folks don't know what you want unless you are specific in your asking. At times, we assume people will know what we want if we give them general instruction. Like that time I asked a stylist to clip my ends and I came out with a bob. I was not pleased. Not. One. Bit. But whose fault was it? (Points to self.) I should have been more specific about what my definition of "clipping my ends" meant. I should have asked her to express her understanding before pickin' up those shears. Even though that was 18 years ago, I can still see my hair on the floor like it was yesterday. (Big sigh.)

Want time to yourself? You better! BE SPECIFIC about what you need. Here's a sample script: Don't call, text, or email me. I will NOT respond. Don't look for me because I don't want to be found. Don't check on me because I'm good as long as you let me be. And before you think it's an emergency, let me explain what MY definition of "emergency" is. Now scoot. (Make sure you say it with passion! Say it like you mean it - because you do.)

Whether you're asking someone to bake you a cake, cut your hair, or give you some quiet time- BE SPECIFIC. Don't leave things up to chance. If you aren't clear about what you want, chances are you ain't gone get it. I'm just saying.

Be Specific so you can Be Well,

Dr. B

P.S. I am not taking orders for cakes. It was just an example. But it's nice to know most of ya'll prefer red velvet!

Get ready, get ready, get ready ready!

You ever wish for something and have that wish granted? Sweet! Were you ready to receive it? That part...

When you pray for something, it may not come when you want it but it's always on time. Amen? Sometimes we get so caught up in making the wish list that we slack on preparing to receive the things we've asked for. If you want things to fall into place, you have to make room. It's like cleaning out your closet to make space for new items. Yes, you can keep it all, but should you? Nope. How are you going to have the physical and emotional space for new things, relationships, and opportunities if you don't let some of those old things go? It's not easy, but soooooo necessary. Make space. Be open. Be ready ready!

Be Well,

Dr. B