Audi 5000

I love me some LL Cool J. The way old dude licks his lips is like...like... something magical! Since my husband reads my blogs, let me add that LL's juicy lips and big brown eyes aren't half as sexy as my hubby's (Love you, bae!)

Did you notice the title of this blog? According to urban folklore, it's a phrase coined by LL. It means "Outtah here!" Sometimes you've just got to go. Have you ever outgrown anything? Not like your business attire because of pandemic pounds. I mean friendships.

We can be loyal to a fault. Why do we maintain relationships that no longer serve us? You can love a person to pieces, but if they no longer fit your goals or cause chaos to your spirit, let them go. How can you thrive with folks holding you back? I'm not saying you should cut ties with your friends just because you see things differently. They're friends, not clones. I'm talking about the ones who discourage or belittle you. I'm talking about the ones who only want to club, but you are no longer a clubber. I'm talking about the ones who tell you starting your own business is a waste of time. I'm talking about the ones who tell you you're crazy for not wanting to get married or have kids. Y'all know who I'm talking about. You can probably picture their faces right now. Girl, bye.

Let go of any relationship that contradicts where you are or where you are going. As the rapper, not as sexy as my husband, says "Audi 5000."

Outgrowing Friendships: 6 Signs You've Outgrown Your Friendship

Time to Unlearn!

I tell my clients "You should learn something everyday." It can be as simple as a new joke. Well, I'm flipping. Kinda sorta. Sometimes we need to UNLEARN things. If you're anything like me, you've picked up a bad habit or two along the way. I don't mean smokin' and drankin' (no judgement.) I mean habits that negatively affect my mental health. I used to think I needed everyone's approval. Bump that. That thought has been "unlearnted." But I am still working on unlearning that "time heals all wounds." 19 years ago, I lost my momma. I'm still hurt (and sometimes straight up pissed) and that's ok. Telling myself "Well, at least you had her for 29 years" is a bunch of malarkey. I don't have to try to make myself feel better. I can just...feel. Time DOES NOT heal all wounds. I'm living proof.

This week, let's learn to unlearn. Let's let go of those unrealistic expectations and standards that leave us feeling like poop. In this week's article, Martha Beck breaks things down for us. This will be a great kickoff to unlearn what I have learned. Wanna unlearn with me?

10 Life Lessons You Should Unlearn by Martha Beck

Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

I'm 48 and just got my first (and likely last) tattoo. I've already discussed this with my FOCAL POINT village. If you're a member, you already know the story! If you're not a member of my new, exclusive FOCAL POINT group, try to keep up!

I'm a creature of habit. I always order strawberry snowballs. I wear the same perfume everyday. My nails are always painted with #181. When my sister calls, I answer the phone the same silly way (she cracks up every time!) I like knowing what's coming. I like being prepared. I prefer predictability. While this has been a comfortable groove, I felt like I was always playing it too safe. Like bubble wrap safe. Was my life just that phenomenal or was I afraid of something? I suppose I was afraid of messing up. If I broke my flow, what the heck was gonna happen? Would I melt? It was a possibility, you know. Soooooo, I started doing things outside of my comfy spot. I started speaking up more and explaining less. I danced in a country music video! I got inked! It was an adjustment for me and caught many of my family and friends off guard. "Harpo, who dis woman?"

We all have a comfort zone. It's where we feel safe, protected, and in control. Sometimes, you have to take a step back and really ask yourself "Why am I playing it bubble wrap safe?" Are you afraid of failure? So what! Dip your toe in the water and see what happens. Let me know when you finally dive in!

"10 Ways to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone" from virtuesforlife.com